Monday 27 May 2024
This third installment of THE REVISION DIARIES reveals the writing difficulties while finishing FADING OUTRO. Once I resolved the dilemmas that made the completion so emotionally challenging, I completed it. Mailed a print-out of FADING OUTRO to King Arthur. Worked next on my Katyn visit–one of the so-called “Everest moments,” as King Arthur had dubbed. By “Everest moments,” he means after an emotional and physical difficulty that proved taxing has been resolved, he expects from me, the Writer, to spend more time exploring the effects of the hard-won achievement. This exploration doesn’t necessarily mean multiple pages, but ensuring the emotional depth of the moment is fully captured. One profound “Everest moment” was visiting Uncle Mazur’s grave marker in Katyn Forest. An emotional moment requires emotional, deep writing. I needed two days. Then I moved on the next Book section, the so-called “Book Report” chapters.
Sunday 19 May 2024
Focused on transitions between sections and certain paragraphs. For some reason, doing so for FADING OUTRO is more difficult than usual. Each section works; however, the end points for them don’t naturally lend themselves to flow into the next section. I guess because there isn’t a strict chronological order to FADING OUTRO, transitions need to be more philosophical. Does that make sense? The major themes in FADING OUTRO are evil, cynicism, and teaching philosophy. The first two lend themselves to link up easily; the third one, too, works, but requires more buttressing and inner frameworks to connect it with the other two.
The aim for Sunday’s writing is to finish FADING OUTRO.
Alas, it’s 8pm and I’m not done. 2 pieces need to be written. Not sure how.
Monday 20 May 2024
Restless I couldn’t complete the drafting of FADING OUTRO yesterday; my creative energies were emotional and tense. From last night’s writing session, I had 2 parts that needed attention. 1)the transition from the section of “Why I Still Give a Shit about Katyn” to the concluding (ha! Concluding) paragraph—in this section I wrote about the student who worried about my mental healthcare after teaching the war class repeatedly. I didn’t write about the full account of this classroom scene in the blog I published a week or two ago; it fit better here. 2) I had anxiety about writing about the film ENIGMA; I didn’t want to analyze it too much; it’s not worth additional pages. So, I needed to economize and be hyper concise.
Even after completing the “Why I Still Give a Shit about Katyn” section, FADING OUTRO still didn’t have a satisfactory ending. Naturally, I went for a walk with Laska; however, no ideas erupted on how to finish this so-called Afterward.
After dinner, I stared at the “Why I Still Give a Shit about Katyn” draft, particularly the last few paragraphs. Bruce Dickinson solo music was a loop. BTW, his stuff is great—Reader, when you eventually read my book, be mindful to the rhythms of my writing. Repeated the songs “Omega” and “Gates of Urizen.” Again, and again. Stood up and paced the room. “What have I forgotten to mention? … What else did I say to King Arthur about writing this manuscript? … How did we ultimately finish the ‘It’s Evil’ debate? … EUREKA! Yes, my children’s book comment! “Ania: the ending was under my nose the whole time!”
Messaged King Arthur for advice. FADING OUTRO is done.
Tuesday 21 May 2024
Exercised in the morning. I didn’t realize how bad my cardio was. Today’s routine was cardio; I haven’t done it in ages. Certainly long COVID made it more difficult than it actually was. Nonetheless, I think cardio routines may be the key to preserving through long COVID.
During my cooldown, I printed FADING OUTRO. Next scheduled activity, mail FADING OUTRO MSS to King Arthur.
No writing so far. Tired from yesterday’s writing session.
Thinking about what to do next. The simpler editorial and slight revision… the so-called Phase 2 of my revision plan. Maybe tomorrow.
Wednesday 22 May 2024
I pasted the FADING OUTRO draft to the main document—LIVING WITH KATYN manuscript. Completing this task, I felt I achieved a victory of sorts. It’s whole, in a sense. Of course, I need to edit, cut, and add new material to this newly updated version of the manuscript. At the same time, I’m starting the next phase of the revision.
Pasting FADING OUTRO was easy; now the real work begins. I started Phase Two: working backward—starting with BOOK 9—I carefully worked on the edits. To make the reading experience of this revision easier for King Arthur, I have made all corrections and additions in red in order for him to see where I made them.
As per King Arthur’s suggestions, I added some new material; this new material is transitions at certain dramatic moments in the narrative. Relatively speaking, doing so isn’t terribly difficult; however, my emotions were heightened while going line by line.
Took several hours correcting and adding material in BOOK 9. Revising the final two paragraphs was more difficult than I had thought. Being concise was imperative. Many themes are in play in these paragraphs, and I needed to be delicate handling them. I wanted the message to be delicate as well, for dramatic effect.
Thursday 23 May 2024
Captain Mazur’s section. Kinsman who was murdered and dumped in Katyn Forest. King Arthur demanded I do more with this section. I need to resolve my anxieties and misgivings about who he was. This revision was one I avoided thinking about all week. The existing draft settles those uncertainties; however, King Arthur thinks I don’t give that resolution the clarity and importance it deserves.
Began unpacking some of the key terms. What does “honor” mean? Steve’s voice was in my head: “Don’t say the obvious. Dive deeper!” OK, diver down!
Friday 24 May 2024
Finished the Captain Mazur section! I’m glad King Arthur encouraged me to develop this pivotal moment in the manuscript. To use his words, this needed to be another “Everest moment.” What he meant by that expression is after hardship, challenges, and pain, I reached the top. Take the time and space to reflect upon this achievement. Don’t squander articulating the insights by rushing through them.
Wasn’t easy to finish. I think at this point I realized that difficulty yields stronger, more passionate writing. Each word was wrested from the deepest part of me.
Drawing this section to a close equally challenged me. I needed to transition to the next section. Smoothly, gradually is beautiful but so, so hard to craft!
Saturday 25 May 2024
Early morning revision work. Pressed for time… decided to work on the section—informally known as “The Book Report” because I summarize and analyze first-person survivor sources. King Arthur worried this section might be running too long. With that suggestion in my mind, I streamlined the Jozef Czapski chapter. First, I cut the long quotes from his memoirs. Next, rewrote the clunky lines, especially the long-running sentences.
I approached this revision deliberately, even hesitantly because the Czapski chapter had great emotional meaning, not only because he was an exceptional person but equally powerful because this section was the first chapter I worked on the year after of Steve’s passing. As I explained to King Arthur, writing the Czapski biography was like writing Steve’s obituary. I can’t omit this section.
After the momentary uncertainty of how to revise the Czapski chapter, once I made my first cut, it felt increasingly easier. My motivation was if I’m keeping the essence of Czapski, I can’t waste space to excessive quoting. I need to let my admiration show through the biography.
After 2 hours, I like the direction this Czapski revision is going. Stopped revising to attend a Memorial Day Parade, which Nick was marching in.